employment

Breaking News:

Andy is employed!




He has accepted his first ever full-time "real" job, which will begin June 12th.



What will he be doing, you ask?



Well, I guess we won't know until he starts actually doing it...but perhaps you can guess.

Fun for the whole family!

It seems a week has flown by since my last post. As I just finished grading my last assignments for the semester this very morning, it has been, to say the least, a busy week. And this coming week is no different, unfortunately, despite the fact that classes are now, officially, over for the spring. Rather than delight/bore you with more descriptions of real life, however, I thought I would share with you this great product advertisement, found yonder on the world wide web in a moment of boredom:

GRADUATE SCHOOL BARBIE (TM)

Graduate School Barbie comes in two styles!
Delusional Master's Barbie (tm) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie (tm).

Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun-filled features
guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours:

* Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face
that turns into a frown after 2 weeks or her first advisor meeting
(whichever comes first).

* Adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes!

* Two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans with 5-year-old gap T-shirt,
and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go Screw
Yourself" T-shirt!

* Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and
hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases as,
"Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow"
"I'd love to write it all over again"
"Why didn't I just get a job, I could have been making $40,000 a year
by now if I had just started working with a Bachelor's degree. But
noooooo, Mom and Dad wanted a masters degree" and
"I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I'd
have an excuse to stop working on this degree that's sucking every
last drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for
a soul..." (9 V lithium batteries sold separately)

* Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct! Experience the exciting
changes that come with pursuing a higher education! Removable panels
on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum fries
to a crispy brown, her heart race at 150 beats per minute, and her
stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing!

Deluxe Grad School Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts.
Just add water and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears!
Fun for the whole family!

Other accessories include:

* Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm). Well stocked with microwave
popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!),and
small bottle of Mattel Brand Rum (tm).

* Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet ',". Comes in Fabulous Pink
and contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and
your choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine Cabinet
not available without a prescription).

* Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniature
obsolete PC (pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature
Mountain Dew cans to decorate your workstation (Mountain Dew deposit
not included in price, tech support sold separately. Miniature
cigarette butts and Oreo packages also available)

And Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and
you'll get two of Barbie's great friends!

GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN: Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest
for increased education and decreased self esteem.

Grad Advisor Ken (tm) comes with a supply of red pens and a
permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver
such wisdom as:

"I need an update on your progress"
"I don't think you'll be ready to graduate this spring" and
"This is no where near ready for publication."

REAL JOB SKIPPER: When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can
always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper (tm), who got a job
after getting her bachelor's degree. Press the button to hear Real
Job Skipper say: "Sometimes I wish I went for my masters degree"
and "Work is so hard! I had to work a half an hour of overtime!"
Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe, Savings Account, and New Car sold
separately. (WARNING: Do not place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job
Skipper too close to each other, as there have been several mysterious
cases of children leaving the room and coming back to find Barbie's
hands mysteriously fused to Skipper's throat.)

Yes, I am the masochist PhD version...be warned all you Real Job Skipper's out there--don't get too close (especially around finals time)!

Louisville

Aha! We are closing the gap, and are now only one week behind real life here in blogland...soon our two time scales will actually merge and tremendous things will happen! So, a week ago--the last weekend in April...

We drove all the way down to Louisville, Kentucky. Why? So I could present a poster at a conference there. Now, this conference is not as well known as some others in my field, and Louisville is not exactly a "prime" location for a conference (as opposed to San Francisco, for instance), so this led to many of my colleagues, upon hearing of my plan, to ask with incredulity "why are you going THERE?" Well, dear colleagues, the reason is twofold:

1. I am but a lowly second year grad student, who didn't actually do research as an undergrad...so this is, I'm sad to say, my first actual honest-to-goodness poster at a national conference. I don't care if it's a slightly lesser-known conference, and I don't care if its in Kentucky--I just want to finally have one line on my Vita that shows I have actually done research, at some point in my life!
2. I have friends in Kentucky, friends who I haven't seen in 5+ years. So I didn't really mind the location, anyway.

Andy was kind enough to accompany me on this grand excursion:

Andy & I, Louisville skyline in the background.

The Derby Festival was well underway, as we were there just one week before the Derby.


This funny-looking guy drove down from Ohio to see us :-)


Pete & Melissa


Miss Natalie!
(I hadn't seen Natalie in about 6 years, I think.)


Mikiba! and Mike!
(I hadn't seen Mikiba in about 6 years, either...I hadn't seen Mike in at least 11...yes, that means that the last time I saw Mike, we were about 14 years old)


Lamar :-)
(Lamar I had seen most recently, about 5 years ago)


Everybody (except Andy, who's taking the picture)...it was a mini-middle school reunion!

By the way, its amazing how grown up everyone seems when your most vivid memories of them are from when they were 12-14 years old. Thanks for a great time everyone, it was so good to see you all again!

Chicago & Kansas City

Andy and I recently visited friends in Chicago and Kansas City. Andy and company extended their roadtrip down to Kansas City...but as he didn't have the camera, you'll just have to imagine what went on there (but do you really want to imagine what happened when three college friends were confined to a car for 12 hours or so, or what happened when they arrived and were joined by a fourth?)

Meanwhile, I spent a fabulous weekend in Chicago with these two lovely ladies--Katie & Abbie. I decided that, if I had the choice, I might like to live as a 6-month-old for a while. Talk about a life of luxury! (Too bad she doesn't realize what a great deal she has going...)

Abbie's day includes:

Playing with mommy on the changing table--otherwise known as getting dressed.

Going for walks to the park or store, sometimes joey-style, comfy as can be.

Being read great stories, like "Guess How Much I Love You," jumbo-version.

A relaxing massage followed by playtime in the water (a.k.a. bathtime).

Oh, and occasionally playing with mommy and daddy's friends, when they come to visit!

Why can't I spend my weekends walking to parks, reading stories, taking relaxing baths, and playing???